Significantly Endowed
Don’t say things when you don’t know what they mean

Many years ago, in 1998, a CGI rendered five minute video short called “Tripping the Rift” became popular on the net, and was being FTPed around.  This predates services like YouTube, and predates fast pipes, so at the small but well-connected technology company I was working at, it took quite a while to download a copy of this video.

It’s reasonably funny, but extremely foul-mouthed, pushing the limits for even what you can get away with on late night Adult Swim today.

My coworkers found it hilarious, and started emulating the cussing they heard in it.  One phrase several of them really took a shine to was “felch monkey”.

After a few days, one of them called someone else a felch monkey, and then they noticed that I winced when he did.

“What’s wrong?”, one of them asked.

“You have no idea what felch means, do you?”, I reply.

“It means something?”

“Yes, yes it does.”

“What does it mean?”

“You don’t want to know.”

“Yes we do! Tell us!”, they all agreed.

So I told them.

“Ewwww!!!!”

And then one of them asked, “How do you KNOW that!?”

“You don’t want to know.”

“You’re right, we probably don’t.”

e[lust] 35


Photo Courtesy of Vincent and Mia

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Request from a Conference Tart

This is from Rosebud. I am bringing her with me on one of my many work trips, to be a “conference tart”, to have fun with in my hotel room, and to share with one of my good friends, who she calls “S” here.

These are her words:

Dear Significantly Endowed and S,

This morning, after attending quite the sex party (too bad you weren’t there S!) and getting fucked yet again  (Oi, at this point my pussy is hella sore), I fantasized about what I would like one of the nights we are all together at the conference.

I’m going to bring a little black dress, and stockings, and high heels. Take me out for a drink, take me back to the room. As soon as we are in, restrain me. Push me against the wall, put a hand on my mouth, on my throat. Forcibly kiss me. Start ripping my clothes off. Throw me down, tie my hands behind my back, blind fold me. While pulling me hair, force me to suck your cocks. I’m going to start whimpering, crying in pain. Keep going. Slap me. Tell me I deserve this for dressing the way I did, for going to a room with two men. Call me a slut, tell me you have even worse things you will do to me. Put the ball gag on.

Tie my legs to my calves, so I’m on my knees, spank me, use a mean toy on me. 50 hits, 100. As many as it takes for my ass to hurt so bad I won’t be able to sit the next day. Red, raw. Clamp my nipples, twist them until they are at their tightest, tug on them. Fuck me, hard. With a hand on my throat. While one of you forces me to suck their cock. Trade. Fuck me while you are pulling my clamps off, and I’m screaming into the gag. Slip my anal toy into my ass, fuck me hard from behind, while you pull my hair, and spank me hard. Tell me what a dirty slut I am. What a whore I’ve become. How you are using me for sex. Fist me, put clothespins on my labia, and I wish one of you or both, would rape me anally. Unbind my wrists, give me my vibrator, tell me to masturbate for you. Take pictures. Dirty me, take your hands from your pussy and put them in my mouth, rub my body with them, make my body smell like pussy.

Do not be gentle, do not be nice. Do pin me, pull my hair, bite me, slap me, spank me, pinch me, call me names, threaten me with worse, force me, use me, abuse me and leave me a sobbing mess on the floor when you are done with me, but please take your sweet time abusing me, abuse me as long as you can. Please, as long as you can. And afterwards, put your foot on my face, or on my throat, ask me I liked it.

Please? Pretty please?

.. Rosebud

Birthday Double Blowjob

I was enjoying a threesome for my birthday, a year ago. My statistically significant other, Rosebud, had arranged it with her roommate, my sometimes-still-occasional lover, Red Freckles.

They were both sucking on my cock, one on each side of the glans, exquisite.

So, of course, I had to say something.

“Double Blowjob! What does it meeeaan!?”

Red Freckles cracked up laughing, and rolled away onto her back. Rosebud looked up, rolled her eyes, and started laughing herself. Of course, I was chortling like a fool myself.

After we all got our breath back, the fun resumed, for the rest of the sunny afternoon.

More stories are coming

More stories are coming, staring such lovely ladies as Rosebud, and Delicate Flower.

The first time I slept with the Girl in the Red Dress.

She wasn’t yet wearing the red dress, but it remains a good name for her. I had known her and we had been friends for many years, back from when I lived in Boston where she also lived. We had kept in touch on and off over the years.

I was back there for a tech conference around St Patrick’s Day of 2010 and took the opportunity to have dinner with my old friends there, including her.

She and I ended up spending more than just dinner, instead sending most of an afternoon and into the late evening hanging out and chatting.

She lived a fair way from the more downtown neighborhood I was staying at, a bit too far on transit to be easy. So when it got to be dark, I invited her to crash with me.

With a smile that was equal parts wary, hopeful, and mischievous, she accepted.

We spent the night sleeping spooned together, my body protecting her. The next morning i washed her hair and her back in the shower. I was a perfect gentleman.

We parted at a subway T station. Just as she was about to run through the turnstile to catch her train, I took her hand, turning her back towards me. I kissed the back of her hand, gently, then shooed her off to her train.

You want to know about how I fucked her? That’s a different story!

Merry Christmas Everyone…
A red dress, at the Space Needle

She was dressed in a lovely little red leather dress and skirt, black hose, and red heels. The low cut top framed the bruises and bite marks on her neck and breasts, and the skirt hit the fact that the hose were truly old-skool, properly gartered.

We were driving across downtown Seattle, on a gorgeous mid August day, on the way to a sex club, where I was going to ravage her again on a mattress in a dimly-lit back room.

As we passed by the Space Needle, she said something bratty and to the effect of I wouldn’t dare take her up there while she was dressed like that. I immediately pulled over, parked, and came around and helped her out of the passenger seat. I walked her across the street, across the tourist plaza, to the ticket booth, and then to the elevators.

The scarlet outfit, blazing in the sun, just barely outshone the blush of her face, as it crawled down her half exposed breasts. It was very fun to watch the reactions of the people around us. The staff at the Space Needle didn’t even raise an eyebrow. Nor did any of the other city locals, either. This is *Seattle*, where we enjoy our kink without the kind of overly overwrought air common in a city farther south. The tourists, on the other hand, their reactions were priceless. One little girl pointed and said “look at the pretty dress!” before her mom shushed her. The men tried to stare without being caught, while their wives alternated between staring in cold anger and very pointedly Not Seeing us.

I walked her around the outdoor promenade at the top of the Needle, and pointed out some city landmarks. I took a few pictures of her, and then we rode the elevator back down, and I walked her back to my car.

And yes, later, I did indeed ravage her in the promised dimly lit room.

I’ll call her “Pomegranate”, even though that is not the handle she goes by.

We first met because of social media.

She was an early high power users of Twitter, and I was following her (and probably too many other people) on that system. Not because she was a she, but because she worked in an area of tech standards that I also work in.  So the time she came up to my city, and then Tweeted that she was at a cafe that was literally down the block from where I was, and I just happened to be looking at my Twitter stream at the time, I couldn’t resist the opportunity to cash in on this piece of synthetic serendipity.

I picked up my laptop, walked over to that cafe, and looked around. She was actually pretty easy to pick out. She was sitting in the back, chewing on her lower lip, and intently banging away on her laptop in the pattern that is distinctive of having several IM sessions going, while writing emails, and editing a text document.

I walked up to her and asked “Excuse me, are you Pomegranate?”

“Yes! How did you know I was here!?”

“Um, you only told the entire internet.”

“Oh. I guess I did.”

We didn’t have a lot to talk about. She was busy, and so was I. So I let her keep working in her laptop, and say at a table nearby, and did my own work. When we later left the cafe, we said our polite goodbyes, and went our separate ways.


As the dozens of months went by, we kept orbiting around in our tech spheres. I was a regular attendee at a conference she helped manage. We were on the same tech standards mailing lists.


Then I learned from another geek girl I had been flirting with that the two of them occasionally played. From that, she learned about my own play availability. And from that link, we found each other on FetLife. And so the online flirting began.

For my most recent trip, it turned out she was going to be in the same city, and so we arranged to meet up after work, and see where the chemistry goes.

Where it went, was out for a light dinner, a wander through a bookstore, and then back to my hotel room. After some discussion, negotiation, and agreement, I broke the ice by stripping. Soon I was nude, and with my help, she was as well.

Her suitcase yielded up a toybag, filled with a collection of painted wooden clothespins and with bundles of soft hemp rope. The distinctive whip-tie at the ends of the ropes told me they were from the workshop of Twisted Monk.  I knew, from her FetLife profile, what she liked, and I rather enjoyed as well. The ropes, I used to bind up her body, just so. And the clips, I applied in all sorts of mean and fun ouch-ful ways.

After some of that, I dug out my own condoms and lube, and we spent some more time stimulating her clit and g-spot with my cock. We both enthusiastically enjoyed that for some time.

A trip back into her toybag yielded up some disposable gloves. (I need to throw a couple of those into my own traveling toybag.) A layer of lube on my hand, then glove, then another layer of lube, and then my fingers went to work stroking and opening the lips of her vulva. Three fingers faced no resistance at all. Four, very little. Five I was soon able to get up to the last knuckle. I knew this was going to be Fun. I poured on and poured in more lube, and then took my time working in and out, back and forth, around and around, as she opened up more and more. And then with an expert twist and push, I suddenly was in to past my wrist, as she let out a deep moan of pleasure and her eyes crossed a little.

I wasn’t done, that was just the insert. I kept up with the in and out, around and around, while flexing my hand in and out of a fist position. She was twisting and bucking on the bed, harder and harder. And over the edge again she went, flexing down hard on my hand, and squirting out so much it splashed a ways up my arm. I kept going, following her energy. After a couple more peaks, I worked back out, finally popping my hand out, and then tossing the wet glove next to the spent condom.

She purred in conversation for a while, and then we dozed off to sleep.

That’s why I always try to get a king sized bed when I travel.

Considering leaving Blogger and moving to Tumblr

It’s been entirely too long since I posted here at Significantly Endowed.


A great deal has happened in the gap: I’ve had my heart broken, have been fallen in love with, been to Burning Man twice more, changed jobs three times.

And yes, had more fun sex.


I’ve heard that Google wants to shut down Blogger and merge it with their new Facebook-clone: Google Plus.  And Google Plus insists on knowing and revealing my “Real Name”, which, of course, is not something I’m live with on this blog.

Thus, I think I’m going to stop using Blogger, and move over to Tumblr.

The only important issues are, do I leave this here, or do I delete this blog entirely.  Do I try to migrate the existing content over to Tumblr, or do I start from scratch there.  I really do not want to lose the stories I’ve already posted, and the comments by others here are precious as well.


And, of course, I will start writing again.